A pocket of my life

My breastfeeding journey began before our little lady was even born, when I was just 34 weeks pregnant. My midwife told me about harvesting colostrum to give to our newborn and a have a store just in case. I was so intrigued as I so desperately wanted to breastfeed this time around. Harvesting Colostrum Leaving my appointment, syringes and instructions in hand, I was exited to try this out. Now this is an experience that both me and liam took on, purely because I could not see what I was doing.  It was tough going and frustrating at times, with spillages and not quite getting it right at first but we got there in the end. Starting off with a 1ml syringe, we filled that within 3 sittings and I felt quite happy, we tagged it with the date and I placed in the freezer.  As the weeks went on I was producing more and more of this 'liquid gold' until I was filling a 5ml syringe within two sittings. Now don't get me wrong, this can be time consuming but if it wasn't...

Written at 4am, 4 days post partem  I have so many emotions going through my system right now but one of the main ones is guilt. Guilt for Lilly that she isn't getting as much attention as she was before, I knew it was going to be like this and so did she, we are always open with her and I will always be there is she needs me. The guilt that I feel for Liam is stronger though, having a second child was my decision and so far it hasn't been too bad. The issue is that Liam struggles with the screams with every bum change, and to be honest I don't blame him, she screams for dear life. The other is that he is currently sleeping in the front room because he couldn't sleep, I am not sure why but I think that it is because she is being noisy tonight, not crying but constant little noises. He has expressed that he is enjoying having a second but I just feel that he is going to resent me in the end for the decision and I am going to feel so guilty every time he feels...