A pocket of my life

So today is the wave of light for all the babies that have left us.  This is a very sensitive subject for us, my Mum lost two beautiful children, my sister, Joanne was just 3 days old and my brother, John was a stillborn. My story starts in the summer of 2011, I found out that I was expecting our first baby early in the July. Both me and Liam were made up with the idea of having a little boy or girl running around. We told my parents and Liams Mum that we were expecting and I also had an appointment with a midwife at around 5 weeks, it was all so exciting and it felt perfect until 5 weeks and 5 days hit. It was that day that I knew something had changed, I started to spot and my nausea that I had been experiencing had become non existent. I did the Google my symptoms thing and saw the word miscarriage, I was heartbroken but obviously nothing was confirmed at this point.  We phoned the EPU (Early Pregnancy unit) and they gave me an appointment for a scan and blood t...

  Every year I create an Easter basket for the girls, this usually consists of things that keep them amused and occupied during the Easster holidays and normally on theme for spring/Easter. I usually get things from the works, poundland or B&M and normally way before the time.  Basket: Originally from Primark last year Bubble wands: Got from B&M Iron bead Easter characters: The Works Paint your own Easter shapes: The Works Easter bracelet set: The works Mini easter eggs: Morrisons I absoloutly love creating these and have done for many years, these can be so inexpensive and so fun for the kids to have. They both love opening this at the begining of the holidays and it always puts a smile on there face. Victoria

  Half way through half term already and we have been on some adventures, our latest was a trip to Sissinghurst castle in Cranbrook, Kent. This is a property owned and looked after by the National trust and is one a highly recommend visiting. This location is a little smaller than some but has some beautiful gardens to expolore, even during spring when they are only just waking, and some beautiful buildings to explore too. The gardens, though quiet this time of year showed some signs of waking up with snow drops and crocuses carpeting some of the flower beds. Some of the trees have been trained to link which I can imagine looks beauiful in full bloom. The orchard was closed at the moment as it looked like they have been tendning to it for the months ahead. One of my favourite parts was this sofa bench close to the houses, it made me smile and reminded me of a big family sofa.  There are many buildings to explore, including the tower, the Priest's house, the south cottage and t...

Yesterday we took a trip to Lime tree farm in Brookland, this is around a half an hour drive from us but it was well worth the trip.  This is a small family farm which has created a beautiful area to pick some pumpkins with the family and get some cure photos too. They have set up some lovely displays to get some cute pics and have so many pumpkins around for you to pick from. The field is quite small but they have managed to fit a lot not making it too cramped. The display that made us laugh was the tractor with the skeleton as a driver.  The farm had a wide array of pumpkin from blue pumpkins to odd shaped double coloured ones and all so reasonably priced too. We decided to pick some odd pumpkins at just £1 each, Lils got one that looked like a mushroom and Olivias one is covered it little bobbles. The prices started at £1 for the small up to £4 for large pumpkins.  Lime tree farm create this display to raise money for charity by accepting donations to Pilgrims Hospices...

I know its late but I am finally getting around to writing my September recap. This last month has been the busiest I have been in years and I have loved mostly all of it.  September has brought a lot of change for us as a family, both me and Lilly celebrated our birthdays, I turned 33 and Lilly turned 12. I didn't do a lot for mine as I have just have a night out for my birthday but that will be in next month's recap. Lilly requested a family meal with a friend aswell.  I also started my new job as a teaching assistant, I am loving it but it's hard and full on. I never fully realised how much a TA does behind the scenes of a school. But I love that I am able to help in so many ways. The next new change is that Lilly has started secondary school, a huge step and one that I really have struggled with mentally. It seems inly yesterday she was starting primary and now she is in full swing of Secondary life, she os of course smashing it and making us proud. And also Olivia star...

To Lilly,  This week marks the last full week of you being at primary school, take it all in, enjoy these last few days  and makes some lovely memories to leave with. Me and your Dad are emensely proud of you and who you have become. It only feels like yesterday when you started, we were sat on the sofa watching 'time for school' to prepare you. We made a treasure box to take which bits and bobs in and took you up to the door on your first day. You have smashed every year and taken each hurdle as it came (including home learning during covid). I know both mine and your emotions are high and I know that you are excited for your next chapter but I also know that you will feel sad and grieve this part of your life being over. The friends that you will leave behind will make space for new ones but will never be forgotten and I am grateful that you will still be able to contact them which we never had. Have the best week, enjoy prom and your graduation and remember that we love you...

A place where we belong and a place that I want to stay, what a show! We have recently been to watch Everybody's talking about Jamie UK tour at the congress theatre in Eastbourne and we were in for a show and a half. The show is based on a true story of a boy, Jamie who is played by Ivano Turco, who wanted to be accepted for who he was, a drag queen, the story shows his journey from his first conversation with his friend to wearing a dress to prom with all the drama that comes along with being 'different'.  Each song was performed to perfection from the opening song 'everybody's talking about Jamie' getting everyone clapping and swaying to 'wall in my head' and 'it means beautiful' silencing the room for every word to sink in.  The staging and set are amazing with the use of projectors helping to create the vision that they are trying to portray, the stage being able to be opened and moved so freely to create different rooms and the l...

What a month, April was a good one and one that I won't forget. We started off with half term, two weeks of fun but the weather wasn't on our side for some of the time. The girls spent most of the time in a tent that I put together for them, something I love to do during half terms.  At the end of the holidays we took a trip to  Wingham wildlife park  for Olivias birthday treat day, this place is honestly amazing and we will definitely be taking a trip again. A few days later we celebrated her actual birthday, she is officially 4 which is crazy. She had nursery and then we took her to the park for some fun on her new scooter, we then visited Granny and grandad for presents and cake and finished the night with McDonald's. She was so thankful throughout the day which was so sweet. After that is was back to the crazy school runs and getting everything caught up on. We have had a day out looking at some military vehicles, enjoyed the scattered sunshine at the park...

Wingham wildlife park, Kent's fastest growing zoo and one we will definitely be visiting again. We decided to take a day out for Olivia's birthday and had been recommended this park by a few people. The entry prices were very reasonable, it wasn't too far to drive and looked great so took our chances. For a family ticket it is £76 on gate or £72 if you book online, which is what we did as it made it easier and that little bit cheaper. We arrived at around 10.15am to a busy car park and was a little worried at how busy it would be but to our surprise it wasn't as crazy as we thought.  On entering the park you are greeted with the first of many animals to see, the arctic wolves, these were one that Lils was excited to see and they did not disappoint. Everywhere you turn there was animal enclosure with an array of animals, some of which me and Liam had never seen let alone the kids. The enclosure sizes were good and the land in and around the enclosure was well maintained ...

We have been lucky enough to be picked again to review some items for TriyIt and this one has not failed to intrigue us. This box includes some brands that i have heard and used before and some that are completely new to me too. 1. Alpen delight bars - We have been sent the raspberry rocky road flavour and this is one that excites me, I love cereal bars and rocky road, a great combo to try. 2. Angostura orange bitters - We have a tiny bottle to try which includes enough for 2 drinks, I am very excited for this as it can be used within your food or drinks (18+ as alcoholic) 3. Cocoa Canopy drinking chocolate -  Being a hot chocolate loving family, apart from Liam we are eager to try these out, we have been sent the smooth milk and the rich dark with vanilla, both sound yummy and perfect for a rainy day. 4. Harringtons cat meat - We have 2 pouches for Jack to try, he used to be so fussy with his food but I am hoping he'll give this a go. 5. Firelli Hot sauce sample -...

We have recently had a day out at Drusillas Park in Polgate in the South East of England for Lilly's birthday, she got a special sticker to wear to show off and the staff were very attentive to this taking the time to wish her a Happy Birthday. This is a place that me and Liam have been to but when we were children do it was very different to when we both last went. There is a huge array of animals to see when at Drusillas including a lot of different species of monkey along with some more unusual animals such a penguins and sloths, including a baby sloth born back in August. There is also a small amount of farm animals and an opportunity to milk a (fake) cow. All the enclosures are clean and with indoor and outdoor options for almost all the animals. There are also opportunities to walk through some animal enclosures where the animals were with you including bats, sloths and rainbow lorikeets, the last one is where Liam made a friend who didn't want to ...

Recently we visited Circus Zyair on there UK tour and what a night it was, full of fun and daring acts that had us on the edge of our seat.  We arrived around 40 minutes before the show started and were taken into the big top around 10 minutes later, once seated there was a chance to buy some food from the stand at the back, some souvenirs or some fun bits for the kids such as inflatable hammers, toches and wiggles. The show started with the 'clown' figure warming the audience up  he was a great character and made a few appearances through the show as others acts were setting up, he even performed some Tik Tok dances too. The show was made up with so many different acts with some great talent and do crazy tricks. On of my favourite wad the high wires, I don't think I have seen it live, the performers for this were amazing and had everyone in awe of what they were doing. Others acts included acrobatics from a chain high up in the big top, rollerblading tricks, juggling, the ...

 I have had this in my drafts for a while now as it still feels very raw to me, but I do want to document the journey we took to bring Olivia into the world and tell our story of having a retained placenta. It started about 7 am on the 15th of April when I woke up feeling very uncomfortable, not so much in pain but I just knew something was different. Me and Lils had breakfast together before I decided to run my self a bath and wake Liam to let him know. The bath was amazing and helped, i ended up spending almost two hours in there just topping it up with hot water, I had a t-shirt on so Lils could sit and keep my company too. The pains had started a bit and it felt like a strong period pain, I got dressed and tried to relax but ended up being sick, which seems to be a sign for me being in labour as had this with both Lils and Olivia. This is when I knew that it was imminent and decided to let my Dad know as they were watching Lilly for me. By 1 pm I decided to ring labour ward and...

To the no sleep Mummy's,   Last night was one of those nights where I was one of those Mums, a night with very little sleep. Olivia woke at 1.30am and was still awake and trying to play with teddies at 3am, we ended up in the front room on the sofa which isn't the comfiest.  Spending that time awake when your body wants sleep is hard, emotional and frustrating, every minute can feel like an hour and every noise sounds so heightened. I have been here many nights with Olivia, which is so different from how Lilly was. I have spent many nights sitting, holding her hand, cuddling her and rocking her and crying, or silently screaming and that is OK, it's hard and exhausting. It is OK to feel like this, being a Mum can be so hard physically and emotionally but you have to remember how amazing you are as a person, what you do for your child/children is incredible, they need you for so many reasons and love unconditionally.  Remember it doesn't last forever and that ...

To Lilly, I just wanted to say a huge Happy belated 9th birthday to our beautiful girl, you are truly one of a kind. I still can't quite believe that you are turning 9, I still remember the day you came, how small you were and how scared I was. You are kind, funny, clever and always put others before yourself which makes you such an amazing person to know. You make us proud every day and for that I am grateful.  I hope that you have had the best birthday possible and that you enjoyed your day, even though you had to go to school. We have some many more memories to make over the year and I can't wait to see the person you become, just slow down a little though! All My love       Mummy xx

Just over a week ago, I was very lucky to be part of an important day, a day that had been postponed twice, it was my Dad's wedding day. I am not going to lie, my emotions were all over the place leading up to the day and during too. I am so happy that my Dad has found some to be happy with and to look after him but it obviously brought Mum back up and the idea that she is no longer with us. The day started off with a lot of stress trying to get us all ready with hair, make up and making sure I had everything (which I didn't). Heading to Dad and Angie's house, piled up with outfits, cakes and bags. My emotions started the moment I saw my Dad, the feeling of him getting married was becoming real and exciting, he asked me to fit his button hole, which made me feel very proud.  Getting dressed up was nice, I never really have a reason to do so and it made it feel all the more special, we all had little tasks while we waited for the transport to arrive a...

Some days you just need to let your kids blast off some energy and be tech free and what best place to do it than the woods. We always like to find new places to explore but this one is a familiar place to us, it's quite a hidden walk with some mini waterfalls and bridges to cross. We took this adventure with some of Lils friends which always makes them more exciting with them making there own story up as we took the trail, we also love to meet the dogs that are being walked. I think it is so important to let kids be kids without tech being involved and using there imaginations. I spent a lot of my time in the woods making memories and I hope that it continues with our children too. At this point little one is way too small to take these trails so I use the carrier, she loves watching lils run around and we try to involve her as much as possible. We ended the walk with Lils taking a bit of a dip in the streams, she came out very muddy and soaked ...

Ever tried making your own lip balm? we hadn't until the other day but would certainly consider making again, we had been sent a lip balm kit to try out and Lils was made up with it. The sent Lils picked was sweet orange, it literally smells like you are peeling oranges and make you want to eat it. The kits comes with everything weighed out and the instructions are so simple to follow.  The whole process of melting, transferring the melted wax to the tins and putting the stickers on took around 20 minutes so its nice a quick for something to do. It was easy enough for Lils to do 95% of it with me supervising. The kit makes 6 full lip balms which smell and feel amazing to use.  The kit is vegan friendly, UK made and all the packaging is biodegradable or recyclable. https://www.hugtheearth.co.uk/