A pocket of my life

So today is the wave of light for all the babies that have left us.  This is a very sensitive subject for us, my Mum lost two beautiful children, my sister, Joanne was just 3 days old and my brother, John was a stillborn. My story starts in the summer of 2011, I found out that I was expecting our first baby early in the July. Both me and Liam were made up with the idea of having a little boy or girl running around. We told my parents and Liams Mum that we were expecting and I also had an appointment with a midwife at around 5 weeks, it was all so exciting and it felt perfect until 5 weeks and 5 days hit. It was that day that I knew something had changed, I started to spot and my nausea that I had been experiencing had become non existent. I did the Google my symptoms thing and saw the word miscarriage, I was heartbroken but obviously nothing was confirmed at this point.  We phoned the EPU (Early Pregnancy unit) and they gave me an appointment for a scan and blood t...

Trigger warning - Baby loss  On the 3rd of August 2019, 2 years ago today, I found out that I was pregnant with Olivia and as much a love being pregnant and feeling excited for the future, there is always a heap of anxiety that follows me, especially during the first trimester. Back in July 2011 I suffered a miscarriage at just 6 weeks but I had started getting excited for this baby the moment my test came up positive. I started to bleed which got heavier by the day, we ended up going to the hospital for a scan and blood test, there was a sack but no visible baby. they drew my blood two days later for the HCG to which I got a phone call that night saying that it was not going to be a viable pregnancy. My world broke, I felt jealous of others, angry at my body and confusion of how fast you world could turn around. I definitely felt the anxiety when pregnant with Lils too but not quite as much as I did with Olivia, I think its because we had had so much sadness in our family the past...